Hunger

Despite the beautiful weather here and the fact that is was my birthday, yesterday was a reminder of what I came to New York to do. And, what I did not come here for.

When I moved to New York it was for college, but more than that I came here to be successful. As long as I can remember I have possessed an urge to "make it" somewhere. It is not about money, it was always about being happy.

So, with my 23rd year, I have tried to remind myself what might be the key to that happiness.

I know for sure it does not lie in the arms of a man - to this day I have not met one who hasn't disappointed me. And, unfortunately I have forgotten this over and over again. I can not get my hopes up any longer, every time I feel like I may have finally met someone I can rely on, some one I can trust and confide in reality sets in. It happened on New Years Eve and now again on my 23rd birthday.

So, I decided to re-refocus my focus. Re-establish my urge for success. And it all goes into play on Monday. Monday at 10am I will do my very best to get back on track. I want to get my foot in the door and follow it up with the rest of me. My mind is there, now the physical must precede. I have decided I will give all of my energy to this idea. I will not quit until I am so far ahead that the others in the competition see me as a little tiny dot far off the horizon. Because I am hungry, and Monday I have the chance to taste the feast that I am entitled to.